


Corroding Iron

by Artizarra0416



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxious Adora (She-Ra), F/F, Fluff and Angst, Human Catra (She-Ra), Mental Health Issues, Multi, Past Child Abuse, Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra)'s A+ Parenting, adhd adora, adora's a dumb jock btw, also a jock but not as dumb, and of course her and catra are in love the whole time, basically adora gets diagnosed with adhd, best friend catra, best friend squad are college roomies, catra's hella smart, her friends help support her tho, potential smut??, super pal trio are also roomies, we'll see where the vibes take us
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:48:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27517132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artizarra0416/pseuds/Artizarra0416
Summary: Since she was a kid, Adora has always known something's been...off. But maybe it was just because she was an orphan, or maybe it was the tremendous amount of pressures placed on her to excel in every area, or it was being raised by Shelia Weaver (aka Shadow Weaver as Catra has so kindly named her) as her foster mother. Either way, Adora knew something was wrong with her. But thankfully she is starting her first year at Brightmoon University with all of her best friends, and no Weaver. Adora's finally free. Taking this newfound freedom she decides to finally try and make sense of her own identity, and maybe finally figure out what exactly it is she has been struggling with her whole life.
Relationships: Adora & Bow & Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Catra & Entrapta & Scorpia (She-Ra), Mermista/Sea Hawk (She-Ra), Perfuma/Scorpia (She-Ra)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 134





	1. New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! So I've always been in love with the HC that Adora has ADHD because she fits a lot of the symptoms and it's some of the most accurate representation I've ever seen even if it's not canon. That being said, some of this will be based on my own struggle that I've had the last year leading up to my ADHD diagnosis (what? me projecting onto fictional characters? Never!) But I will do my best to give as accurate a depiction as possible, and anyone is free to comment and suggest or critique how I'm portraying ADHD and other mental illnesses.

A small, silver car travels silently down the freeway.

There is no music, there is no conversation, there is only the hiss of tires on pavement. The driver, a poised older woman, is staring straight ahead. Yet there is a distant look and a glaze over her eyes, she is not quite watching the road.

A mask tucks away the true nature of her face, scarred and mangled from a horrific accident she dare not speak of. And no one would ever dare to ask.

The passenger is a younger, much more vibrant girl. She gazes out the window, with her head tucked into the crook of her arm, and watches the world fly by from the claustrophobic comfort of the car. Her leg unwittingly bounces as restlessness hums through her body like electricity from the long drive. Her body aches to move, to be free from the confines of her seat. Just a little bit longer.

The silence vanishes as the low rumble of the driver clearing her throat takes its place.

"Adora," she says the girl's name gently, her voice as smooth as silk.

But the girl jerks up sharply at the sound of her name, "Yes, Ms. Weaver?"

Ms. Weaver turns to her for just a moment, and Adora thinks she would've been smiling had she been able to see her lips

"Remember we talked about the fidgeting. Do you remember what I said?"

Adora ducks her head as her cheeks glow pink with shame, "I'm sorry Ms. Weaver, I didn't realize I was doing it."

Ms. Weaver waves her hand in dismissal, "I don't need excuses. Just don't make me remind you again, is that understood?"

Adora nods, "Yes Ms. Weaver."

"Good girl."

Not once had Ms. Weaver raised her voice, it hadn't laced itself with even the barest hint of anger, but Adora is left feeling as if she had been slapped. Her chest and neck are set aflame from the reprimand and in turn, she places her hands beneath her thighs, to prevent any further unconscious fidgeting.

Ms. Weaver hated it when Adora fidgeted, she claimed it was distracting and a nuisance. So Adora did her best to obey, to still herself whenever she was in Ms. Weaver's range of sight. But it was hard. Adora's body seemed to constantly buzz and thrum like a live wire, and so her fingers would tap, or her leg would bounce, and she would remain dangerously unaware of her movements until Ms. Weaver was in front of her and it was too late.

Adora shivers at the memories and is more than determined to keep still, at least until they arrive at their destination. Thankfully the exit is only a mile away, meaning they're almost there.

She has to admit, despite the nerves that make her want to empty the contents of her stomach out onto the side of the highway, she's excited too. She's starting her first year at the school she has dreamed of attending since she was little, Brightmoon University. Not only that, but she's rooming with two of her closest friends from high school, Glimmer and Bow.

Glimmer's mom, Angella Starborn, is the housing administrator, meaning she was able to pull a few strings and give the trio one of the nicer on-campus apartments, despite only being freshmen.

So Adora would be with her best friends, in considerably nicer quarters than most freshmen typically receive. Already off to a good start.

Catra will be there too.

Thinking of her makes Adora smile softly to herself. Catra has been her best friend in the whole world since they were kids; she was beautiful and brilliant and always looked out for Adora when she couldn't be bothered to look out for herself.

Their friendship was not without challenges, however. Ms. Weaver has despised Catra since the two formed their near-inseparable bond as six-year-olds. She insisted that Catra was a horrible influence and would only "distract" Adora from reaching her true potential.

She was so adamant in these beliefs that she forced Adora to transfer high schools, just so she would be away from Catra. Adora had been beyond devastated and fought back what little she could, but Weaver's decision was set in stone.

At least she had met Glimmer and Bow.

And it wasn't like the two hadn't found ways to see each other, they did live only two blocks away after all. But all that sneaking around made Adora feel impossibly sick to her stomach, terrified she would be caught and the consequences would be unspeakable.

College means she's free to see Catra at her own heart's content, not in the late hours of the night in the shelter of Catra's backyard treehouse. Those escapades had very much been worth it at the time, but Adora can't say she isn't thrilled at no longer having to jump through so many hoops just to see her best friend.

College means many things for Adora, but above all, college means freedom.

So when their small, silver car pulls along the drop-off curb at the entrance of the university, Adora practically jumps out to grab her things, not that she has much. Just a backpack full of her school supplies, a duffel filled with clothes and bedding, and a small pack filled with what few sentimental things of value Adora did not trust to be in Weaver's possession.

She is bursting at the seams to get going, to be out of Weaver's sight, though the thought does bring a pang of guilt along with it. This is the woman who raised her after all, took her in when she was an orphaned child, and gave her clothes, food, and a home.

All that did come at a price though...

"Adora," Ms. Weaver's voice calls out to her through the car window, yanking her out of her thoughts.

"Yes ma'am?"

"Remember what you are here for. Do not let yourself become... _distracted_."

  
That last word is dripping with poison and Adora has to suppress a chill that runs up her spine. She knows exactly what Weaver is speaking of, even if she doesn't say it.

"Yes ma'am, of course, ma'am."

"And know that I refuse to be disappointed." those are her last words before she drives off before Adora can even respond and she can't help but roll her eyes and grumble.

"Goodbye to you too, I guess..."

But she shakes off the remnants of shadows that cling to her and turns to face the campus that is basking in the high afternoon sunlight. It's small but breathtaking. Cherry blossoms that have yet to defoliate are scattered across the land that is already bustling with teens playing frisbee, passing around soccer balls and hackeysacks, and chatting amiably. Small brick buildings are nestled into the outer corners of the campus, neat and pristine in their appearance with cobblestone paths cutting through the grass in their direction.

Adora smiles brightly and starts off on the cobblestone path towards "The Hesperos Buildings". She loves how all the buildings on campus have names relating to astronomy or mythology. Just another thing to add to the list of things she loves about this school.

It's a special place, she can just tell.

* * *

Thankfully, despite Adora's abysmal sense of direction, she is able to utilize her map and find her building with little to no issue–except for a brief moment where she hadn't realized she was holding her map upside down.

But she makes it inside and only has a slightly awkward exchange with the woman at the registration desk who provides her with her key and a few pamphlets that will inevitably end up in the recycling bin.

With that all under her belt, Adora makes her way up the two flights of stairs towards apartment 212, which will be her home for the next two and a half months. Her stomach still feels slightly queasy, everything seems to be happening so fast.

But that feeling almost immediately vanishes as she opens the door and is practically barrelled over by a small, excitable whirl of pink hair.

"Adora!! You're finally here!!!" Glimmer exclaims, wrapping the taller girl in a hug much too-tight for her lung capacity to handle.

"Oof, yup, made it in one piece!" Adora replies, rubbing her chest slightly as she's released from Glimmer's bear-like grip.

Bow steps out into the hallway upon hearing the exchange, "Well let's try and keep it that way, don't want you breaking a rib on the first day now do we?" he nudges Glimmer playfully, who responds with a dramatic groan.

"Sue me if I'm excited to see our best friend after, what, three months??"

Adora smiles at Glimmer's enthusiasm as Bow walks over and greets her with a significantly more gentle embrace.

  
"Hi Adora, it is great to see you, let me help you with your bags!" he takes Adora's duffel before she can even argue.

"Can you believe it?! We're in college!!!!!" Glimmer's voice rises several octaves as she proclaims the quite-obvious, yet somehow still surreal statement.

Adora sets her things on the bare twin bed in what will soon become her room, as soon as she makes it look a little less like a prison cell.

  
"I know, it feels kinda like a crazy dream," she says, blowing some rogue strands from her ponytail out of her face.

Glimmer rushes in and grabs Adora by the arm, pulling her back out into the center of the apartment, where she can finally take it in for a moment.

It is a significantly nicer space than what Adora had envisioned, especially considering Bow and Glimmer had moved in a couple of days prior, and had time to decorate. The floors are dark polished wood, with a nice white carpet that takes up most of the living room. A coffee table sits in the center of the rug, with a small TV sitting on a stand pressed against the back wall. A cozy three to four-person couch sits against the wall opposing it, with a mosaic of the constellations hanging above it, most likely provided by one of Bow's dads, both of whom are obsessed with astronomy. Another smaller couch sits against the windowsill, which is already home to some of Glimmer's many flowering plants. Fairy lights are strung all about the room.

The kitchen is simple, containing a fridge, an oven, and a dishwasher. But the counters are tactfully decorated with various knick-knacks and statues and plants, as well as an added microwave and the ever essential coffee-maker. The fridge is covered in fun magnets from different cities and pictures of the trio on some of their most memorable adventures, accompanied by a small white board that has a crude stick figure boy drawn in red ink with the words "BOW IS ON DISH DUTY TONIGHT" written in all caps.

Adora smiles, it feels like home.

Glimmer pulls her attention back, popping the top off a champagne bottle. "Before you start unpacking and all that boring stuff, we have to have a quick celebration to finally becoming freshmen!!"

She pours the pale liquid into three small plastic cups, handing them off to Adora and Bow, who accept with eager smiles.

"Here's to the Best Friend Squad taking on the world!!!" Bow exclaims, raising his cup in the air.

"And to taking on BU!!" Glimmer adds, raising her cup to Bow's.

Adora smiles and lifts her cup, feeling an overwhelming rush of happiness and love, "And to new beginnings."


	2. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora wakes up with a hangover, and her and Catra meet back up for the first time as college students

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof this took me a hot sec to write, hello hi! So ngl this is kinda a filler chapter and as usual I have no idea where this is going so I hope you all will just come along and enjoy the ride with me!

When Adora wakes that next morning, she immediately feels something similar to a hammer pounding against her skull.

She may or may not have gone a little hard on the champagne last night. Adora had only drunk a handful of times, most of those times being with Catra, and they were always just tentative sips of whatever Catra had snagged that day.

Weaver would never allow Adora to drink, she was underage after all, and she would have her head if she heard even the mention of alcohol slip off Adora's tongue.

  
So maybe Adora was eager to feel like a free, independent adult. In charge of her own body and her own choices. But now the freedom and independence Adora had craved were coming back to bite her right in the ass.

Slowly, she staggers out of bed and into the kitchen, each movement only enhancing the pounding in her head.

Bow is sitting at the counter, shoveling a bowl of oatmeal with strawberries into his mouth,

  
"Good morning sunshine," he says teasingly. Adora shoots him a look and grumbles something that vaguely resembles "mornin'". She knows she looks as awful as she feels, her hair is unbrushed and unkempt from sleep and she's moving with slow, stilted motions, like a zombie come back to life.

"How are you feeling?" Bow asks, furrowing his eyebrows and taking on a tone of genuine concern.

  
Adora lays her head down on the countertop, the cool marble feels nice against her skin.

"My head is killing me," she groans.

"Ahh, first time being hungover I take it? I can't say I'm surprised...you did have three cups of that champagne last night," Bow replies.

Adora looks up at him incredulously, "Three cups?? Why didn't you stop me??"

Bow shrugs, a guilty smile on his face, "You seemed to be having so much fun, and I knew you were excited to finally have some control over your life. We didn't wanna dampen your spirits. Plus, you probably wouldn't have listened to us anyways."

Adora sighs, "Okay, that's fair."

Bow chuckles, rising from his stool, "Lucky for you, I have the perfect hangover cure."

Adora perks up at that and slides herself into the nearest stool, still keeping her face against the counter until she feels something being placed beside her. She lifts her head ever so slightly to see a glass of water and two Advils waiting for her.

  
She smiles gratefully, "Thank you." She pops the pills and downs her water in three to four gulps, she hadn't realized just how thirsty she was.

"A hot shower and some breakfast on top of that and you should be as good as new," Bow says with a kind smile. It briefly makes Adora think about how great of a parent he'll be someday, he's always been the one to look out for her and Glimmer, no matter the issue or ailment.

Adora goes to work on her second glass of water when she checks her phone and her eyebrows jump at the notification for her:

**Cat 😼💕**

**9:45am** Hey loser, u wanna meet up for coffee today now that ur finally free from SW😈

The text makes Adora smile and she quickly types out a reply

**ADORKa 😜💕**

**10:03am** love to, 10:30 @ Spinny's?

She barely sets her phone down before her phone chimes with a response

**Cat 😼💕**

**10:04am** Sounds good, don't keep me waiting

Adora's practically beaming and tries to ignore the smirk she can see Bow giving her out of the corner of her eye.

  
"Got any plans for today?" he asks innocently, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

She shrugs, trying to downplay her excitement as she fixes herself a bowl of cereal.

"Just meeting up for coffee with Catra, then probably gonna try and prepare for classes," she says, only slightly successful in suppressing her mile-wide grin and keeping her voice neutral.

"Uh-huh," he says, hiding his grin beneath the rim of his mug.

  
Thankfully, his attention is diverted by Glimmer, who is by no means a morning person, stumbling into the room with a deep grimace and a horrendous case of bedhead.

"Mernn," she grumbles, her eyes barely open as she collapses onto the couch.

As Bow strolls over in an attempt to coax Glimmer into eating something, Adora excuses herself to shower, her hangover now reduced to a dull throb.

If she takes extra care to shave and thoroughly wash her hair, it is not for any particular reason. And if she applies her nicest smelling lotion, and spritzes the tiniest bit of a perfume she hardly ever wears...

  
It is just because she feels like it.

* * *

At 10:24am, Adora waltzes out the front door of her apartment and off towards Spinny's.

Spinny's is a quaint coffee shop in the center of campus. Adora had never been, but she had passed it yesterday, and she'd heard countless positive reviews about both the coffee and the pastries. Plus, the owner of the shop was apparently a lesbian who had a kickass wife, and who wouldn't wanna support that?

Adora tugs self-consciously at her red letterman jacket, she had paired it with a simple black tank top, ripped jeans and her favorite pair of scuffed up maroon converse. Simple but put together right?

Not that it matters how she's dressed...

And it certainly does not matter how her hair is done, Adora certainly isn't checking it in the camera of her phone. Even if it is pulled back in the same high ponytail she always wears.

By the time she reaches the coffeeshop, she has probably fidgeted and toyed with her appearance 50 times over.

It's just nerves, she tells herself, get over yourself.

So she takes a breath and pulls the glass door open. The inside is cozy, with rustic wooden floors, two-seater tables centered with flowers, chalkboard menus written in pastel pinks and oranges, not to mention the large glass displays filled with delicacies. The smell of coffee and baked bread wafts over Adora and almost makes her eyes roll back in ecstacy.

She spots Catra, sitting at the far end of the cafe. She's staring out the window, with her arm propped against the back of her chair and her rich dark hair spilling down her shoulders; it's grown since Adora had last seen her.

She's dressed in a leather jacket and a black crop top that ends right at her midriff, exposing a beautifully bronze plane of skin that causes a strong heat to coil in her cheeks. But she vehemently ignores it, chastises herself to keep her eyes up, and walks over

  
Catra's head turns just as she reaches her table, and the smile Catra gives her is absolutely devilish. Just like how she remembered.

"Hey Adora," she purrs.

"Hey yourself," Adora manages not to stumble over herself as she sits down, noticing the cup and bag in front of her.

"I took a liberty," Catra explains, leaning forward and propping her elbows on the table. This is when Adora notices she's wearing fingerless leather gloves, it adds a nice touch.

"You're still a vanilla latte and cinnamon bun gal right?" Catra asks, quirking an eyebrow to which Adora nods excitedly, that was exactly what she had planned on ordering.

"Yeah. And I take it you're still a black coffee and scone kinda gal?" Adora retorts, smiling at the eye roll Catra gives her.

Adora may be predictable, but so is Catra.

Adora takes a large chunk out of her cinnamon roll and downs a huge gulp of her latte. She can hear Catra giggling at her, which makes her smile sheepishly.

"Someone's hungry," Catra teases.

"Listen, it's really good okay-" Adora tries to defend herself but her argument is weakened by the fact that she's garbling her words through a sticky mouthful of dough and icing.

Catra smirks as she leans back and sips at her coffee, "Man, you really haven't changed a bit. Being a college freshman hasn't gone to your head yet huh?"

"Well I've already woken up with a hangover, does that count?"

Catra's eyes widen and the sunlight pouring in from the window brings out her eyes, one ocean blue, the other a soft hazel. Adora's always loved Catra's heterochromia.

"Wow, Adora's already gone beer crazy! Never thought I'd see the day"

"Champagne actually....three glasses"

Catra bursts out laughing, an absolutely delightful high-pitched laugh that does not match her ripped maroon jeans and combat boots so thick they could probably break a person's neck.

"You got hungover off of three glasses of champagne??" Of course she would laugh.

Adora rolls her eyes, "Hey, it's _something_ "

Catra smiles brightly, "Oh Adora, just wait til I tell you about this"

And with that, she launches into a wild story involving a kegger, cops, a clown for some reason?

Honestly, Adora loses track a little. She can't help but just smile and stare and think how wonderful it is to be back with her best friend. 


	3. Where the Troubles Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora has her first day of classes and is disappointed to find that old struggles may not be so old.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi wow it has been a HOT second since I've updated this. I sincerely apologize. I kinda just got hit with writer's block, and school, and life....but I'm here!!! I'm not dead!! And I'm determined to post updates more consistently from here on out. Thank you for your patience :)

Adora's leg is bouncing again.

She is hardly aware of it, but it occasionally tickles the back of her conscience. When it does, she has to remind herself firmly that she won't be chastised for the action as she usually is. And somehow the movement makes her feel better.

So she lets the bouncing slide.

Classes start today.

It's not that Adora isn't a good student, she is. She has no choice but to be, Ms. Weaver certainly wouldn't allow anything less. But academics have always been hard, for a reason that Adora has yet to be able to pin. It's like her brain just...wouldn't cooperate.

And college is a whole other world from high school.

But her first semester is just gen-eds, beginner level English and math classes. Adora is thankful for this as, not only will they be easier academically, but she has no idea what she actually wants to do with her life yet...

She has a semester to think about it without falling behind.

Today, Adora starts with her entry-level English class, which starts promptly at 8:30am.

It is currently 8:15am.

Adora is aware that she is painfully early, but she had woken up at six that morning, her body restless and unwilling to grant her even another moment's worth of sleep. So she went for a run, made breakfast, even tidied up her room, but all of that only brought her to 7:30am.

Bow and Glimmer weren't up yet, their classes weren't until later that morning. Glimmer had been aghast when Adora mentioned her first class was at such a "ridiculously early" hour.

So Adora had just decided to leave and sit in the dark, empty classroom until class began. 

So there she was now, trying to ease the anxiety that's slowly been mounting in her stomach and chest, like a pile of stones is slowly growing inside of her.

She looks at the clock, 8:16am.

She slumps in her seat, ugh, how had only a minute passed.

But Adora's attention is quickly diverted to the sound of the door opening, and a young woman enters the room. She is tall, with bronze skin and long brown hair pulled back into an elegant braid. She is dressed in a casual white button-down and black dress pants. She looks incredibly young but Adora is almost positive she's the professor.

She turns to Adora with wide eyes, "Oh! Hi! I didn't think anybody would be here yet"

Adora's face goes beet red, "Hi, uh, sorry I know I'm ridiculously early...I can leave-" she starts to rise out of her seat.

The woman smiles kindly at her, "No worries, you're more than welcome here, I'm just gonna be setting up for class"

Adora settles back into her seat, smiling shyly, "Uh, thank you, professor..." the silence draws out, she can't remember the name she had read on the top of the class syllabus.

"Oh you can call me Mara, the whole "professor" formality makes me feel like such an old woman," Mara says, opening up her purse to set at least a dozen notebooks onto the front desk.

Adora's smile comes more easily, more naturally. She likes Mara a lot already, she has an easy air about her, something that eases Adora's very heightened nerves.

"Sorry, I didn't catch your name, sweetie?" she looks at her expectantly. Adora has to resist the urge to stand ram-rod straight and offer out her hand in the formal way she had been taught to address herself.

Instead, she tugs on the hem of her t-shirt nervously, "I'm Adora, uh, Adora Grey. I'm a freshman here."

Mara smiles, "Adora! Wonderful! Well, I'm very excited to have you in class, I'm hoping for it not to be a dull one, I know how hard it can be to keep such young minds awake and active so early in the day"

Adora notices more students slowly beginning to trickle into the classroom, her leg starts to shake again. She considers that to be the end of her conversation with Mara, but she feels a little less anxious about school as a whole.

Mara reminded her that professors are people too, capable of being just as nervous and doubtful.

So maybe she would be okay. She doesn't want to let her down.

She doesn't want to let anybody down.

* * *

Adora desperately wishes she could carry the optimism she felt that morning through the rest of her day.

  
But it doesn't last.

Mara's class was mainly going over and discussing the syllabus, answering any questions that were had about the class. It was stuff Adora didn't feel too guilty about tuning out, especially since she had read the syllabus three times over the previous day.

She really liked Mara as a professor though, even going over the syllabus, Adora could tell that she had spunk, an energy about teaching that made Adora somehow feel and connect with that energy as if it were contagious.

But things started to go downhill in her math class.

The professor was not nearly as welcoming. He was a scraggly, emaciated man in too-big clothes with a shock of jet black hair. He peered at his students with thin, beady eyes that made Adora's skin crawl when they latched on her.

His name was Professor Hordak. He definitely wasn't the kind of person you were on a first-name basis with.

He also wasn't the kind of professor who wasted time discussing something that should've "already been read," so he plunged right into the subject.

Calculus was Adora's enemy, she very quickly learned, though math had never really been her friend to begin with. The equations and numbers danced around the board in front of her eyes, and her hand burned and cramped as she tried to write them all down and somehow digest the words actively coming from Hordak's mouth.

By the end of the class, Adora felt like her brain had run a marathon. Her head pounded relentlessly from stress, and she could not say with confidence that she had retained anything that had been discussed.

So Adora had shuffled home dejectedly, hating her brain and herself for not understanding even the basic concepts of the class. She knew it had been unrealistic, but still, she had been dying for all her academic issues from high school and even her younger years to magically disappear. To be left back home with Ms. Weaver and a collection of memories left to collect dust.

Worst of all, as Adora sits with her calc textbook splayed out on side of her desk, and her illegible notes splayed out on the other, she realizes she still has no idea what the problem even is and why it follows her around beyond the walls of her classrooms.

It's one thing to struggle to keep up with the professor during class, but why could Adora not bring herself to focus even with the work sitting right in front of her? All she had to do was read the chapter notes, look through some examples, and solve the problems. But every time she went to read, her eyes seemed to unfocus, and the words on the page would become indistinguishable blobs.

After an hour, Adora realizes she's only completed three of the twenty problems due for Wednesday's class.

She slams her book shut in frustration, feeling tears prick in the back of her eyes, and she has the urge to rip apart her notes and throw her books against the wall.

But she doesn't. She just sits there, willing for her tears to stay put. She wanted this year to be different.

  
All she wanted was for this year to be different.


	4. A Helping Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Catra have a "study date," but Adora is struggling and Catra picks up on it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I'll update more regularly," I said, "It won't be so long between chapters," I said. OOF. I am so sorry to keep you all waiting, but the good news is I am done with finals and therefore done with school until February, so LOTS of time to write! Just a reminder that a lot of Adora's "symptoms" are based on my own struggles with ADHD, as well as common things I've seen/heard other people struggle with as well. But if any of you with ADHD feel it is not being represented accurately please let me know!! I really wanna try and do this story justice as I feel like proper representation of ADHD is really rare. Also, can you see how these two dumbasses are in love with each other? Hehe.

They are now a week into the semester.

Adora has adjusted a little bit more to the flow of college life, she no longer loses her sense of direction on campus, and living with Glimmer and Bow is just as easygoing and cheerful as she had dreamed.

But that's not to say she's not struggling.

Of the four classes, she's taking this semester, calculus is giving her the most trouble, but her creative nonfiction class falls closely behind.

It's not that she's putting off the work because she's lazy or doesn't want to do it. All she wants is to be able to do her work the second she gets home...but more often than not, something in her brain or body won't let her do so. Not until she's gone on a run or has moved her body in some form.

Other times, if Adora knew she wouldn't be able to do the work perfectly, a wave of crippling anxiety would wash over her and she wouldn't even be able to bear the sight of the assignment until it was absolutely necessary.

Not that she's told anyone any of this.

She knows she could tell Glimmer and Bow, or even Catra, but the ever-present anxiety of sounding crazy, or worse, disappointing them has left her with the resolution that it's easier to keep her tears and occasional panic attacks out of sight.

At least that way she can keep up the facade of being the perfect, straight-A student everyone thinks she is.

Except she's on a "homework/study date" with Catra, and the feeling is rising within her. She had managed to solve three of the calc equations due for her class tomorrow, and only had nine more to do, but her eyes are unfocusing and the equations are becoming blurs.

She tries desperately to tamp it down, to ignore the fizzling of her blood in her arms and legs and her brain's desperate screams to MOVE. TALK. DO SOMETHING.

She looks over at Catra, who's sat at the other end of the small circular desk they had picked out in the back corner of one of the library's many study rooms. She's fully immersed in her work, diligently writing notes about...something, a book maybe?

Adora feels a pinch of guilt for not remembering what it is she's doing. She knows Catra told her as they dumped their books on the table with equally exasperated sighs.

But now, Adora finds it's easy to lose herself in looking at Catra and the way her brown curls curtain her face and how her lips quirk as she writes, how she nibbles on her pen when she takes the occasional break to think.

But then Catra's eyes glance up at her, and Adora's eyes quickly jump back down to the textbook page she's tried to read at least fifteen times.

She tries for a sixteenth, but still is not successful.

Her leg is bouncing erratically beneath the table and she feels the inexplicable yet increasingly desperate need to move, to occupy her mind with something that isn't calculus.

She takes a series of deep breaths, attempting to ground herself. But it's becoming unbearable. The desire to just scream, run laps around the library, tear her textbook to shreds, anything to get out the energy that's burning and sizzling inside of her.

She decides to fake a bathroom break rather than do any of those things.

Catra nods, staring at her with a look Adora can't put a name to, but question anything so Adora takes her leave.

* * *

Catra eyes the glass doors Adora just walked through.

There is a sinking feeling in her gut, one she can't shake but wishes she could.

Adora wasn't acting strange per se, but Catra had taken notice of her friend's restlessness. It was a quality she had grown up with, for Catra can remember a six-year-old Adora bursting at the seams with energy, always moving, doing something, going somewhere and tugging Catra along with her (not that she wouldn't have willingly followed). Whether she had been unaware of this, or was aware and couldn't seem to stop, Catra was unsure.

But now, even though it had been a while, she could see some parallels to the eccentric child she grew up with and the bright young woman who had been staring blankly at her textbook for the last 5 minutes, pencil twiddling between her fingers but never once touching the paper.

Catra had startled when Adora let her know she was heading off to use the bathroom, and that in itself wasn't out of the ordinary. But Adora had a look on her face, pained almost, in the way her brow was furrowed, that made Catra question how much truth was in that statement.

She lets a minute pass before she mutters a curse under her breath and makes her way towards the door.

The university library is a large, rustic building, smelling of old books and dust, a smell that occasionally reduced Catra to ceaseless sneezing fits. There are multiple floors, all of which have secluded rooms filled with desks and chairs, with large windows and glass doors with big "QUIET STUDY" signs plastered against them, keeping the rooms designated for students who want to work in silence.

On the first floor, the floor she and Adora had settled on, is the main lobby with the receptionist's desk and the marble staircase leading to the upper floors. And just past the lobby is the bathroom, tucked in the corner of a small, narrow hallway, marked by one of those cheap plastic signs with the white stick figures.

Catra figures she should at least start there, she can only imagine how many places there are for one to hide in this place and she doesn't feel like going on a wild goose chase.

She veils the concern tugging at her inside with an exterior of nonchalance as she heads towards the bathroom.

She could totally be misreading things, maybe she's worried for nothing.

But as she gently pushes on the bathroom door, she realizes she had every right to be concerned. Adora is in there, but she isn't washing her hands or adjusting that dumb little hair poof. Instead, she's bent over the counter, between the two sinks, banging her fists against her temples.

She's whispering to herself, "C'mon, c'mon Adora, stop it. Get it together."

Catra almost feels guilty for intruding on a scene clearly not meant to be seen by anyone, but it confirms that Adora is struggling with something, and she's not about to just stand by and let her suffer in silence.

If there's one thing she knows about Adora, it's that she is stubborn as all hell (similar to Catra in that way) and would probably eat glass before ever asking for help.

She takes a tentative step inside, keeping her voice quiet as she says, "Adora..."

Adora's head whips towards her and Catra can see from her bloodshot eyes that she had been crying.

"Catra! Uh, I, I-" Adora takes a step back, stumbling over her words as she grasps for an excuse, her body starts to shake.

Catra can't help herself, she rushes forward, feeling her heart clench when Adora flinches harshly in response and takes Adora's hands in her own.

"Adora, hey, it's okay," Catra whispers, unfurling Adora's white-knuckled fists and massaging her palms, running her fingers gently over crescent-shaped indents pressed into the skin.

Adora's not looking at her, her eyes are rooted firmly down at her shoes. Rogue strands from her ponytail have come loose and are dangling by her flushed cheeks.

_She's beautiful._

The thought strikes Catra from left-field but she shoves it aside to deal with later. She has more pressing matters at hand.

"Can we go out and talk?" she asks gently, silently resolving that if Adora says no she'll leave it be for the moment, knowing pressuring Adora into talking won't help anyone.

But thankfully Adora responds with a small nod.

Catra nods back and steps out of the bathroom to make her way back to grab their stuff, Adora's hand clutched in hers the whole way.


	5. A Little Less Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora tells Catra the truth, Catra gives her some advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!!! I hope you're all having a wonderful day whether you celebrate or not. Here's Catra being a good friend and a math nerd. Feel free to let me know if I should tweak anything! Thank you for all the kudos and comments and love :)))))

Adora can't bring herself to look at Catra.

Her friend had led her out of the library and out into the courtyard so they could actually talk without disturbing those around them. It's a beautiful day at least, with a cloudless blue sky and a warm breeze that carries with it the fresh aroma of vegetation that hasn't yet withered from the autumn chill.

Adora is staring down at her lap now. She is acutely aware of her bouncing leg, and the hand that's still intertwined with her own, and the thumb tracing soothing circles along her skin, and the person who the hand belongs to.

Catra waits but does not push, which Adora is grateful for, considering she's never known Catra to be the most patient person in the world. She can feel her gaze on her though, even as she aggressively avoids it, and it's making her heart quiver inside her chest.

She takes a deep breath, "I think..," she starts, before realizing she has no idea what she's actually planning on saying. She decides to just go with whatever her gut tells her.

"I think something's wrong with me..," she finishes.

Adora had never said those words out loud, had never made her fear tangible, and the sheer weight of that fear seems to collapse on her chest once the words leave her. She can feel the hot sting of tears but she swallows thickly, refusing to let them shine in her eyes.

Catra doesn't say anything, likely waiting for Adora to elaborate. She's almost a little shocked she hasn't made a remark like "you're just now figuring that out?" or "Trust me, I know." But Catra seems to recognize the seriousness of what Adora's trying to tell her.

"I mean...you know, you were friends with me as a kid. You know how I was just constantly on the go, always talking, always moving. And you knew Weaver would...ya know, get mad if I fidgeted too much at home."

Adora can see Catra nod out of the corner of her eye. She still can't bring herself to look at her.

"Well...the restlessness it's-it's a constant issue, and it has been since I was a kid. Not just at home, but at school too."

This is the first time Catra speaks up, "Adora...I don't understand. Your grades were always perfect in school, you were like, always top of the class."

Adora hangs her head in shame, "I know...but I, I only...I ever.." she groans in frustration, the anxiety gnawing at her chest is making it hard to speak, hard to breathe. Catra squeezes her hand tightly in reassurance.

Adora takes a deep breath and tries again, "I knew what the consequences were if I...if I wasn't the best. But...my "issues" would leave me spending literal hours on a single worksheet. Every time a test was announced I would panic at the prospect of trying to memorize material we learned three weeks ago considering I couldn't even remember what was said yesterday."

"I...I was only the best because I was forced to be. It was never easy, it didn't come naturally to me, I wasn't smart, I just put on this whole stupid facade so nobody would ever think there was a problem..."

Despite it being so long ago, Adora still shutters at a memory from when she was in the first grade. Her teacher had pulled her aside before she could scurry on out of class for lunch. She told Adora that she noticed how distracted she seemed to be during work time, and asked if she needed to contact home about it.

Adora's blood had gone cold at the idea of Ms. Weaver receiving a phone call telling her that Adora was distracted and not finishing her work. Ms. Weaver had made it crystal clear what the consequences of such "abhorrent behavior" would be. Adora had to hold back her tears while she promised her teacher it would no longer be an issue and begged her not to call home, she would do better.

The following weeks Adora hardly lifted her gaze from her desk, as much as her brain seemed to ache, as much as she wanted to look anywhere but at her paper, she forced herself to stay on task.

Catra's voice brings her out of her thoughts.

"Adora?"

Adora finally looks at her.

  
Catra's brows are furrowed and her teeth hooked on her bottom lip. She looks...worried. It was a foreign look on her. Catra never worried about anything.

"Are you struggling in your classes?" Catra asks gently, with not even the slightest hint of judgment or snarkiness.

  
Adora nods her head, feeling her cheeks burn in shame. She had gone so long without ever needing anyone's help, why now is she breaking down? Why is she now breaking down the carefully crafted image she had spent so many years showing to the world, insisting it was who she was.

No, who she was...was a disappointment.

"You're in calculus, right? I could...I could tutor you, or ya know, whatever"

Catra's offer takes her aback. Adora stares at her with wide eyes, watching as she runs a hand through her hair and looks away awkwardly. It's such an uncharacterically adorable thing for Catra to do that Adora can't help but smile.

"You'd do that for me?" she asks.

Catra looks back at her and turns smug, "Yeah. I know you wouldn't think it, but I happen to be quite the genius when it comes to math."

Adora slaps a hand over her mouth in a futile attempt to stifle the laughter bubbling inside her.

"When did you become such a nerd?" she asked, only to be met with a hard shove in response.

  
"Shut up!!! I'm not a nerd!! You're just mad I'm actually better than you at something." despite the smugness of her expression, there is no bite in Catra's remark and it just makes Adora smile even harder.

"Catra, the Queen of Calculus"

Another shove.

The two burst out laughing, and it's the kind of laughter that leaves them breathless and clutching at their aching sides.

it's the best feeling Adora's had in a while.

But when the laughter recedes to silence Catra's face turns serious.

"Maybe you should see someone about this. I can help with the math stuff but...I can't tell you anything about what you're feeling, other than that it is okay to feel this way."

Adora sighs, she'd be lying if she said she hadn't thought about it, about taking advantage of the school's free counseling services. But she had been avoiding the measure of actually going through with it, telling herself that she'd wait for a sign.

Guess this is it.

"Yeah...you're probably right."

Catra takes her hand again, the sudden contact makes Adora's insides squirm.

"You'll at least keep talking to me right? You don't have to do this alone Adora, you've never had to do this alone."

Adora's instinct is to protest, but Catra's staring at her with such a soft, genuine look of desperation. It's enough to make her nod and think to herself.

Maybe I really don't have to do this alone.


	6. Some Advice and Some Yearning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra gets some advice from Scorpia 
> 
> Not gonna lie this is lowkey a filler chapter just so I can write more about how absolutely whipped Catra is and how everyone knows it but Adora.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hi hi, I'm sorry I'm alive. Life is hard and writer's block is hard. Can someone tell me how I wrote a 14 ch fanfic in like two weeks and its taking me two months to write one chapter for this? UGH. Anyways, enjoy some one-sided Catra/Scorpia because I'm mean (don't worry it's not permanent). If I don't update again this month someone please hit me over the head. Is this even good? I don't know anymore

Catra is pacing the length of her room. She has been doing so for the last five minutes.

Scorpia watches this from the next room over with concern, Catra was never one to display any signs of anxiety, but clearly, something is bothering her. She had watched and waited for all of those five minutes before deciding it was time to take the risk and ask.

"You feelin' okay Wildcat?"

Catra stops abruptly but stays silent, Scorpia runs a hand through her hair nervously. She is on the verge of seriously considering calling someone over for help when Catra finally speaks up.

"It's not me."  
  
Scorpia doesn't understand but opts to stay quiet and hope her friend will open up more. Which she does after another beat of silence, even going as far as to face Scorpia this time.

"It's....my friend. She's struggling with something. But I don't know how to help. But I'm not sure she wants me talking about it to others..." 

Scorpia feels her heart warm within her chest at the concern Catra is displaying for her friend. Catra has never been one to show concern for anyone, not even herself, instead holding a rather convincing exterior of apathy and abrasiveness. Scorpia knew first-hand that it took a while for that exterior to fold and give way to the soft, sweet soul beneath. 

"Ah, well...will telling someone hurt them directly?" she asks.

Catra seems to consider this, her teeth catching on her lower lip in thought 

"...I guess not." 

Her features steel suddenly and she points a threatening finger in Scorpia's direction "But if you tell anyone what I'm about to tell you, I'll make you regret it." 

Scorpia knows better than to doubt her on this, nodding her head rapidly and making a zipping of the lips motion with her hand. 

Catra's snarl slips then, and she sighs heavily. "It's Adora."

Ah. Adora. 

Scorpia should've known. Catra didn't give much away about her life before Brightmoon, Scorpia was lucky she even knew where she grew up as a kid. But if there was one thing Scorpia did know about, it was Adora. Not so much because Catra talked about her, but rather the photos that were scattered throughout her room, most of them including a particular bright-eyed blondie with an alarmingly tight ponytail. Scorpia had asked once, who the girl in those photos was, and she did not miss the smile that played on Catra's lips when she said her name. 

"Adora."

Nor did she miss the deep blush that painted her cheeks. 

Ever since that day, Scorpia has harbored deep envy for Adora for reasons she would never speak of. 

Of course, she is the problem. 

"What's wrong with her?" Scorpia wants to kick herself once the words come out, snippier than intended, but if Catra noticed she pays no mind. 

"She's having a hard time in school, she's restless all the time, she can never focus. I swear that girl runs on nuclear energy, I'm not even sure I've ever seen her sleep more than four hours. It's hurting her."

Catra's brows are furrowed deeply, and her lips are twisted into something resembling a scowl, she looks pained. Scorpia ignores how that look makes her feel like she's been kicked in her stomach.

"Well, I hear counseling services here are pretty good, have you told her that?" Scorpia offers.

"I did. But Adora's stubborn. She likes to pretend she can do everything herself."

"Mhm, I know someone like that," Scorpia jokes, hiding her grin when Catra shoots her a glare. 

Catra meanders over to her desk and picks up a framed photo, it's her favorite. It's an eight-year-old Catra, hair all wily, characteristic smirk, with a seven-year-old gap-toothed Adora who is absolutely beaming as she wraps her scrawny arms around her friend. Her grandma Razz had taken that photo of the two of them. 

"I'm afraid if I push too hard, she'll think I'm judging her," Catra says, "or I think she's messed up. And I don't. She's a dumbass but there's nothing wrong with her." 

Scorpia notes how Catra stares at the photo, the undertones of longing in her eyes, and all she wants is for this conversation to be over. 

But she tries to give her best advice anyway, because if nothing else, she can at least be a good friend to Catra, "Maybe talk to her about it a little more and not push counseling too much. Maybe try and slowly encourage her towards it instead." 

Catra smiles then, by God, she smiles, and Scorpia's insides fill with butterflies. 

"That's a good idea, thanks Scorp. Wanna grab Entrapta and get some dinner?" 

Scorpia nods with a large grin and allows herself, for just a moment, to imagine a world in which Catra is looking at her the way she looks at Adora.


	7. I'll Be Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora has her first tutoring session with Catra and it brings up some painful memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for mentions and descriptions of child abuse and physical abuse
> 
> I promise this story will stop being so depressing...Adora just has a lot of trauma to work through. Also PSA that if you are bad at math, or any subject for that matter, and/or have ADHD you are not stupid. I just know that I've struggled a lot with feeling that way and when you have it instilled in you at such a young age that you must be perfect, I can imagine not knowing something will make you feel a similar way. 
> 
> As always if any of you have any suggestions or edits you'd like to see, let me know!! I appreciate your patience :)

_Adora could always tell when Ms. Weaver was angry with her._

__

_She seemed to carry darkness around with her like a cloak, it dripped off her robes and seeped into the walls and floors, leaving Adora to drown._

__

_When Adora came home from school that day, she immediately felt that familiar darkness crowd around her, and her blood turned to ice._

__

_"Adora." She heard from the next room over. The voice that addressed her was calm, one could maybe even mistake it for friendly._

__

_But Adora knew better._

__

_She gulped, her head reeling as she tried to remember what it was that she had done wrong, what she had forgotten to do._

__

_didicleanthedishesfrombreakfastyesididthatohnodidileavemyshoesinthehallagaindidifailaquizagainwhatdididowhatdididowhatdidido_

__

_" **Adora.** " more firm, more insistent. Adora needed to move._

__

_She inhaled sharply "C-coming, Ms. Weaver," she squeaked, and she was quick to remove her shoes and place her bag neatly by the hall tree before taking a few trembling steps into the kitchen._

__

_She had to shove down the sheer terror that clawed at her chest at seeing Ms. Weaver sat poised at the head of the table with a riding crop placed in front of her._

__

_Adora knew what the sight of that crop meant._

__

_Long ago they'd had horses, Ms. Weaver explained that the crop was meant to help the horses focus on their commands, to steer them away from distraction, to encourage expected behavior_

__

_They didn't have horses anymore._

__

_But the crop still served its purpose._

Adora drums her fingers along the counter incessantly. Today is her first tutoring session with Catra. She knows she doesn't have to be nervous, it's just Catra.

But...it's also _Catra_.

And Adora is terrified of showing this side to her...the side of her that doesn't know anything, that is incredibly stupid but is able to cover it up with double the effort.

The longer she sits and waits, the more she begins to regret agreeing to this in the first place. She knows she's bound to embarrass herself, to screw something up, to show Catra that she is not perfect.

But then Adora is startled out of her thoughts by a knocking on the door and Adora curses at herself, it's too late for her to try and formulate an excuse to get herself out of this.

Of course, she doesn't let her dread and anxiety show, she smooths it down with a smile and opens the door.

Catra is standing in the hall with a backpack slung over her shoulder, dressed in a jean jacket and a sheer black crop-top that makes Adora blush all the way down to her chest.

"Hey loser," Catra greets, her usual snark and grin in place. The familiarity eases some of the tightness in Adora's chest.

She rolls her eyes, "You're the loser, you're the one who's good at math."

Catra walks in and tosses her bag onto the couch.

"Yeah, yeah, well do you want me to help you or not?"

Adora smiles nervously and nods. Her fingers drum along her thighs as Catra sets herself up at the counter with her textbook and notes.

Catra turns to her and pats the seat beside her and Adora inhales deeply

_It'll be okay._ She tells herself. _It'll be fine._

* * *

It was not okay.

Catra had been trying to work with her on limits for the last hour and a half, but no matter what approach they took, it wasn't clicking.

Adora glares down at the equation Catra had written out for her

(x2 − 1)

(x − 1)

"Okay," Catra begins, "So we know that x = 1 isn't right, right?"

Adora nods slowly.

"Why not?" Catra prompts.

Adora thinks for a moment, wracking her brain for what Catra had explained to her earlier while attempting to decipher the answer from their previous notes.

  
  
"Because....the solution for x = 1 is zero?" It comes out more as a question rather than an answer, but the way Catra's face lights up makes Adora feel like the smartest person on the planet.

"Yes! Okay, so where do we go from here?"

Adora's own smile drops, this is where her mind goes blank. She knows that the solution can't be zero, but how does she figure out what number to put in for x? She doesn't even know why they picked 1, to begin with.

After a long moment of silence she stutters out, "Uh, I-I, I don't know..."

Catra's silent for a moment and Adora clenches her eyes shut, waiting for the insults, waiting for the disappointment.

_Waiting for the pain._

__

_*SMACK*_

__

_Adora felt her knees buckle as the blow landed square across her back. The pain was raw and sharp, making her skin burn red in hot anger._

__

_"Say it again."_

__

_Adora opened her mouth, trying to let out a noise other than desparate panting._

__

_*SMACK*_

__

_"Again."_

__

_"I-I" *SMACK* "I will be better." *SMACK*_

__

_Adora's back was on fire, she could barely keep herself standing._

__

_"Again."_   
  


_"I will be better." *SMACK*_

"Adora...Adora??"

Adora opens her eyes, her cheeks feel wet and for a moment she doesn't know where she is. She feels a hand on her shoulder and whips her head to see Catra staring at her, her eyes wide with concern.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

Adora wipes her cheeks frantically, "Yeah, no, I'm fine. I'm sorry you had to see that."

She stands and gathers up her stuff, "Uh, I think, maybe we should come back to this another day."

She can feel Catra staring, but she can't bring herself to meet her eye. It's already embarrassing enough that Catra had to take baby steps with her through one of the basic concepts of calculus, but now she has managed to witness _another_ one of Adora's little 'freak-outs.' 

"Okay...are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?" It comes out harsher than intended and Adora's heart aches when Catra flinches slightly at her words.

"Okay, I'll get out of your hair," she says. Adora wants to apologize for snapping, but the words lodge in her throat and refuse to come loose, so all she can do is keep her back turned as she hears Catra collect her stuff and open the door.

"Just...call me if you need anything, okay?" she hears Catra say, but by the time Adora turns to look at her, the door is closing and she's gone.

In that moment, a mountain of bricks drops on her chest and leaves her sprinting for the bathroom. Her stomach is coiled so tightly she feels like she's gonna be sick. The tears come rushing out and Adora doesn't bother trying to stop them.

Instead, she curls into a tight ball on the floor, her arms latched tightly around her legs as she begins to rock back and forth. The position makes her feel like a child again, hiding in the bathroom after one of Ms. Weaver's punishments, desperately trying to conceal her sobs.

A dull ache begins to consume her back.

"I'll be better, I'll be better, I'll be better," she whispers.

She'll stay there as long as it takes for the words to sink in.

"I'll be better, I'll be better, I'll be better."


End file.
